Friday, January 18, 2008

Distractions

After they had eaten, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these others do?"
"Yes, Lord," he answered, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said to him, "Take care of my lambs." A second time Jesus said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"

"Yes, Lord," he answered, "you know that I love you."

Jesus said to him, "Take care of my sheep." A third time Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"

Peter became sad because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" and so he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you!"

Jesus said to him, "Take care of my sheep. I am telling you the truth: when you were young, you used to get ready and go anywhere you wanted to; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will tie you up and take you where you don't want to go." (In saying this, Jesus was indicating the way in which Peter would die and bring glory to God.) Then Jesus said to him, "Follow me!"

Peter turned around and saw behind him that other disciple, whom Jesus loved---the one who had leaned close to Jesus at the meal and had asked, "Lord, who is going to betray you?" When Peter saw him, he asked Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?"

Jesus answered him, "If I want him to live until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!" So a report spread among the followers of Jesus that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say he would not die; he said, "If I want him to live until I come, what is that to you?"
(John 21:15-23 GNB)

When you read the above passage it looks as just a typical conversation that Jesus could have had with any of the disciples. But look deeper. Peter became distracted with what others were doing instead of what the Lord was telling him.

Do you have times when God is pointing you in a direction or bringing you through something and instead of focusing on Him, your focus is on other people? I know I have in the past and probably will in the future. Perhaps God is bringing you though some rather difficult times and instead of seeing how God has strengthened you and blessed you, you look and see that there are others around you that seem to have it easy. It can be difficult if you get distracted. That is why we have to keep our eyes on the Lord.

Peter looked away from Jesus to see John. Let's strive to stayed focused on the Lord.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Another Chapter and An Awesome Blessing

Hello, seems like forever since I have posted. I feel as though I disappoint people when I don't post. But then I wonder if there really is anybody out there reading this blog. I suppose it's one of those internal struggles we all have from time to time. So, after my delay in posting here... I would like to share why.

In early hours of December 8th, I was nudged away by our youngest, Benji. He had brought a loaf of bread to me. The night prior he didn't eat very well because he had a lot of congestion and just seemed to not be hungry. So I looked at him and then to the alarm clock and it said 4:29am. I looked at Benji again and said, "Go back to bed sweetie... we'll have breakfast later."

When my husband woke up at 6am to give Benji his propranolol (he takes it for his heart) he noticed Benji had been sweating and seemed to be a little chilled. Thinking maybe he had a fever during the night or got to hot in his PJs, he put him in bed next to me. Benji snuggled into me and daddy went to start on the day.

At 7:15am I woke up to the bed jolting. My first thought was one of the boys or my husband decided it was time for me to get up, what I saw scared me. I turned to face Benji and his arms were above his head, teeth gritted and he was jerking, his skin was ashen almost blue. I yelled for Jeff to call 911 and started praying a very anguished prayer. As Jeff was talking to dispatch I flipped Benji up on his side and hit him on his back, that allowed him to breath, but he was rasping horribly. I tried to do CPR, but his chest wall was so tight I was afraid I would break something.

I wasn't positive to what was going on on the phone, I knew there was coordination issues with getting EMS out. (We live in the middle of two towns and about 15-20 minutes from the closest hospital) At 7:35am a volunteer fireman pulled up to the house with and oxygen tank. Once we got it to him the ashen/blue color started to go away, but he was still having seizures. He looked so scared in his eyes.

About 7:40am First responders got there with an O2 mask that fit instead of the adult sized one. They also had a pulse ox to check his blood oxygen level. Remarkably and totally giving glory to God, his oxygen was 94-97% Which is normal for Benji.

While we were waiting for the first responders I had called my mom and according to her I said I thought Benji was dying. Her and dad said prayers all the way to our house and got here right behind the ambulance.

And this is where we realized that God had things under control. (He did the whole time but this is when we started seeing it with our fleshy eyes) On the ambulance was the EMT deemed as the best EMT in our county. The first thing they did with Benji was check his blood glucose level, it was either 21 or 23. For those that do not know... under 80 is hypoglycemia and under 60 is life threatening. Immediately they ran an IV and gave him DP50. Once that hit his system, he was coming out of it quickly. They ended up having to give him Valium to calm him down and keep him from yanking the IV out.

We had told the paramedics that we wanted Benji to go to Vanderbilt Children's but because of the situation, we had to go to the local hospital. I rode with and Jeff stayed home until my sister in law got there. Mom and Dad went to the hospital and also notified everybody to pray.

When we got to the local hospital, they took a urine sample (this ended up being an awesome thing! How can you get excited about pee?). The continue the glucose and monitored them. The ER doctor contacted VCH and they agreed to a transfer. If I remember correctly it was about 12-12:30 when we loaded up. By this time Jeff was there with me and followed. This ambulance ride was the scariest in my life. I rode in the back in order to keep Benji calm and I looked out the back window once we got on the interstate. The semi trucks looked like they were standing still. Praise the Lord we had His blessings on the way in. And Benji enjoyed the sirens.

At Vanderbilt, they looked over everything and monitored Benji. Gave him some lunch and a new sippy cup. Checked his blood glucose and it was 110. It was 83 right before we left the other hospital. At this point I really had no idea what they were thinking happened. Jeff had talked to the pediatrician and was told that seizures can cause hypoglycemia and hypoglycemia could cause seizures. It just really depended on what else was going on. The local hospital said it looked like an extremely rare case of hypoglycemia in a child.

VCH discharged Benji and set up an appointment with endocrinology the following week. As we got Benji dressed and went to leave, he demanded to "wok". (Benji was diagnosed with apraxia of speech in June due to a nearly 50% delay. Prior to this day, he never said walk). So, we let Benji walk while holding his hands... He was very wobbly but we expected that with the seizures and the Valium. He slept alot that evening.

The following morning we were awakened by Benji "hungry. anna eat." Obviously we got up and fed him. And it was like he was off to the races. He started jabbering and we were able to make out what he was saying. We were concerned that he was still very wobbly though. He did well at church. He didn't want to stay with us during worship but wanted to go to nursery on his own power. That evening he enjoyed about half of the kids Christmas musical and the other half he was running daddy every which way in the parking lot.

We were just so blown away with the blessing of God bringing Benji back to us. We got home and were getting ready for bed. And all of a sudden Benji started throwing up. My SIL's sister let us use her glucose meter and I checked Benji, he was at 78. The ER had told us if it went below 70 to call. If it went below 60 bring him in. So we got him calmed and cleaned. Made him a peanut butter sandwich and he settled down. We all went to sleep and in the morning he was droggy and difficult to get up. I checked his glucose it was 83. So, I called the doctor and took him in.

The pediatrician felt that Benji had a bug of sorts and that was ultimately what caused everything. Told us to keep monitoring his glucose in the morning and when ever he appeared to be cranky, irritable, sick, etc and then to wait for the endo visit. If the glucose went below 80 to call him though.

He woke us up the next morning throwing up and his glucose was 87. So we figured okay... it's a bug.

With all of this insanity, the blessing is that once again we were reminded that God knows what we need. God is in control. We just have to let God do what He does and not get in the way.