Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Mother's Day

I do know this is a little late in coming. I apologize for that. This however is not a typical Happy Mother's Day you are wonderful post. Although there are tons of mother's out there that are awesome and wonderful.

No, this post is a realization post. See, I hate mother's day. This year especially with the turmoil that our family has gone through. We have had a lot go on. Some good some bad.

But without going into the personal things that our family has gone through, I want to share an intimate thing I have learned in the last week. First let me explain why I hate mother's day.

See, I and my husband have 6 kids. We are a blended family. The last two years that I sat in church on Mother's Day, the pastor honored the oldest mom, the newest mom, the mom with the most kids, etc. Here's my thing with that. What about the woman that miscarried last week? What about the woman that can't give birth to children? While I know in our church it is included that a mom is an adoptive mom, or a step mom, or a biological mom; it still bothers me. So what if I have 6 kids? Does it make me a better mother than a woman with only 1 child? No. It don't. It makes me more stressed out about how everything is going to get done.

Anyhow, this last week, I asked God to help me come to terms with Mother's Day. We knew we weren't going to make it to church because Jeff had to work and with my existing feelings I didn't really want to go. So I stayed home with the kids and watched church on TV. Back to what God did for me. I was reading over some scripture and trying to keep the kiddos at bay, I think it was Friday. We had had a busy week last week with doctor's appointments and school IEPs and such, it was good to have a slow day. In the early evening as I was reading, it struck me that these blessings that I have been blessed with are not mine. These children are God's children not mine. I have no rights to them and I am not entitled to the children being mine. Meaning that they are with me because God has entrusted their care to me. I may not be perfect, but I do my best to keep my eyes on the Father and teach the kids of His love and of what He has done for us. I do this by letting Him shine through me.

So for me, Mother's Day has a new meaning. Instead of focusing on me, I take the time to reflect and relax. See where I can improve and what I need to hand over to God.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

SpiderMan 3

So, last night we decided that we would go and see Spiderman 3. Especially after reading the opinion on it at the link below.

Perspectives: Spider-Man 3 and the dark web of sin

We went to our local drive in, trust me I would much rather spend $16 with our brood at the drive in than nearly $50 at the cinema. The kids really enjoyed it as we got there about 2 hours before the movie started and they played down just below the screen. They really had alot of fun. The boys were good and worn out by the time the movie was starting and for the most part stayed still and watched the movie. Benji tried to fight sitting still about 20 minutes into it.

On to the movie... Overall I enjoyed the movie. The storyline was good although there was a little bit of confusion and some cheese. The cheese being when Peter Parker acts like John Travolta walking down the sidewalk. Very 70s, very cheese.

In the movie, it seems Peter Parker finally has it together. He is doing good in school, working freelance for the Bugle, finally has the girlfriend he's wanted all his life. It couldn't be better right? Wrong. That's when there is a meteorite with a parasite that lands not far from where Peter and MJ are on a date at.

Then there is Sandman, who really seems to be a good guy with rotten luck. His daughter is very ill and he got scared and had to do the crimes he did to provide for her. This is a role I believe that man parents can relate to and after seeing the entire movie can feel sorry for.

The New Goblin/Harry Osborn is yet again another character that doesn't understand the situation and allows his frustration and anger over his father's death eat at him and nearly consume him in the form of hatred towards SpiderMan/Peter Parker. The ending on this was a good one as Harry saw the error of his bitterness and the end of the movie brought the two friends back together before the inevitable.

Venom is the alien that was on the meteor. It is a parasite that after giving a go at Peter, ends up taking over Eddie Brock.

Personally none of our children that saw the movie were affected negatively by it. I could easily see however that if a child that has aggressive tendencies were to see it, regardless of age could have issues. Or I suppose I should say their parents would have issues in dealing with an out lash of behaviors.

Our girls enjoyed both the action and the love story. Our boys really enjoyed the action.

My opinion this is a good movie and it's a great way to talk to your kids or friends about forgiveness and that if you don't forgive it will eat at you, like a parasite.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Psalms 91

I wanted to provide the scripture that our family uses for times of anxiety and fear. Our God is an awesome God and He will protect us. I pray the following scripture is a bleseing

Whoever goes to the LORD for safety, whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty, can say to him, "You are my defender and protector. You are my God; in you I trust." He will keep you safe from all hidden dangers and from all deadly diseases. He will cover you with his wings; you will be safe in his care; his faithfulness will protect and defend you. You need not fear any dangers at night or sudden attacks during the day or the plagues that strike in the dark or the evils that kill in daylight. A thousand may fall dead beside you, ten thousand all around you, but you will not be harmed. You will look and see how the wicked are punished. You have made the LORD your defender, the Most High your protector, and so no disaster will strike you, no violence will come near your home. God will put his angels in charge of you to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands to keep you from hurting your feet on the stones. You will trample down lions and snakes, fierce lions and poisonous snakes. God says, "I will save those who love me and will protect those who acknowledge me as LORD. When they call to me, I will answer them; when they are in trouble, I will be with them. I will rescue them and honor them. I will reward them with long life; I will save them."
(Psalms 91:1-16 GNB)

For the Mothers out there

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here. "
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more Time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. A nod for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love. sometimes totally unappreciated!

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...
And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all.

For all of us.

Hang in there.

In the end we can only do the best we can.

Tell them every day that we love them.

And pray.

~ Author Unknown

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

SAHMs vs Working Moms

So, I saw the first 10-15 minutes of Montel this morning before I turned the TV off. (I generally watch the news before the boys get up and active since we have a lax schedule right now) The show was called Mommy Wars and Montel was asking the questions of SAHM or working mom, breastfeeding or bottle feeding, and the other one I caught was spanking or no spanking. My questions go along the lines that I know they have a specific number of people in the audience that feel a certain way so I am wondering how our audience feels.

SAHM vs. Working Mom

SAHMs tend to say that it is their place to be at home and raise their children instead of the day care raising them. That it is important to the child to know that mom is there and available.

Working moms tend to say that they are meeting their child's needs by providing for them and making the money so they can do sports and things. That it is important that kids learn that we have to be responsible and show our kids responsibility.

My take... I believe it is the mother's right to choose and that we should respect others decisions. My personal belief for myself is that I need to stay at home for my kids. I need to be home when they get home from school and I need to be home for the ones not yet in school. I don't want a daycare worker consoling my son when he falls and scrapes his knee. I want to be home with him. I want to be home when my daughter needs me to talk to because she has lost a friend or her boyfriend dumped her. But most importantly? I want to be home so I can spend time with my kids and in doing so I can teach them about God.

Breastfeeding vs. Bottle Feeding

Breastfeeding propaganda states that the breast is best and anything else is coming up short.

Bottle feeding is a near match and easier to do.

My personal belief? I have done both. Breastfeeding can be quite intimidating to a first time mom. While God did create women to be able to breast feed our babies, there are sometimes complications. I know personally with my youngest I had a blockage that was very painful. I chose to continue on because I felt it was better for the baby to push through the pain. With my oldest I was terrified to let her nurse so she was bottle fed. I believe that it is up to the mother. Some women do not produce enough milk for their babies and it puts undo stress on them. We should respect other's choices.

Spanking vs No Spanking

This is the obvious war one. There are those that say spanking is abuse and those that say it is ordained by the Bible (Spare the Rod Spoil the Child).

My personal belief is that there is a time and a place for spanking. It should be last resort after other methods have been tried. However, if you are going to spank you had better know the law regarding corporal punishment in your state and also the Children's Protective Services stance.

Depending on the state if you spank a child you could be arrested. The laws vary. Some say if you intentionally strike a child it is child abuse. Others say if you strike a child with an instrument (paddle, ruler, flyswatter, etc) that it is aggravated child abuse. I am pretty sure that all states in the US say if you leave a mark on the child it is abuse.

I personally believe that the government shouldn't tell us how to parent our children but in the same instance I also see the need.

If you spank, you are much more likely to "lose it" and hurt the child. It typically only happens once, but why put that risk there?

Have opinions? Comment. Let's hear from you.