Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
So, please do correct me, but once a man and a woman are married, they become one and it is then up to them to agree together as to what thy are going to do. This is what me and my husband are doing. We have had a couple relatives invite us over and we may or may not do it, we aren't sure yet.
Thanksgiving is suppose to e a time when we are thankful for what God has given us, not a time when people decide to force you to do what they want. I remember the holidays where I felt as is I had to go to this one's house or that one's house and feel uncomfortable the entire time. As a family, mom and dad need to agree on what to do.
Perhaps if you are having trouble your rotate. This may sound odd but actually many people do it. Say, you go to his parents for Thanksgiving and then go to her parents for Christmas. It works much the same with child custody disputes. Since our family does not practice "santa" Christmas morning, my ex-husband has our girls Christmas Eve and then they come home around noon Christmas Day. We have Jesus' Birthday in the Evening.
The last thing people need to do during the holiday season is bicker and fight about who is going to who's house. Love each other, your children are watching you.