Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Treading Water

Isn't it amazing how life can overwhelm us?

In the last year, I as an individual have made many changes. I was hoping that all would be positive, and I am still striving that they will be. The valuable lesson that has been learned is that things happen not in my schedule, but in the Lord's.

See, last summer near the end of July, I decided that I was going to get in shape and be completely organized as soon as the kids went back to school. (Here school starts the first of August) So I started doing my bible study first thing in the morning, got an exercise DVD and started doing it daily, focused more on natural foods instead of processed... was doing really good. Hubby and the kids were cooperating with the change well.

Then, on the first day of school, right after the younger kids got on the bus, I went outside to feed the dogs. Only, they didn't get fed, instead I fell 23 inches onto our concrete patio. My foot had slipped on the steps and I went flying. Landed on both of my knees and did some damage. Instead of taking care of me, I with the help of our oldest, got cleaned up and took her to school. Did I mention I could barely walk? The next day, hubby was off work and Benji had physical therapy. The agreement was if I couldn't walk that I would run into the clinic since it was in the same building. I was able to walk, so didn't go. (And yes, Benji's therapist nudged me to go and I still didn't)

It took about a week before I could walk easily, and the scarred up knees were healing well. I should clarify here. I did pray for God to heal my knees. I also prayed that my plans would still go through. Note, I didn't pray that my plans were His plans.

The bulk of August I was trying to get the house good and clean and organized while the kids were at school. I also found myself ordering college books for me. I had managed to seize the opportunity to be able to go to college for the first time in my life. We had prayed about it and when the financial aid came through, hubby said to go for it.

I had the misconception that I would be able to go to school full time, be a full time mom and still have an immaculately clean house while keeping up with my writing.

Boy was I wrong.

My school schedule worked out so that I was able to be 3/4 mom. I had to resort to Nana taking Benji to school on some days, A friend watching him on Fridays, and me missing field trips and concerts and games with the kids. Clearly, I had not figured the entire cost of my higher education. Oh, and my house while still tidy, was not immaculate.

The worst part was that my writing for pleasure pretty much disappeared. This bothered me. It made me question if I was doing the right thing. As the fall semester proceeded, I prayed fervently and asked several friends to do the same over what my path was.

I am sure, with out a doubt that I am to be a writer. I am also sure that I am to go to college. And through the prayer, what my eyes have been opened to is that I don't manage my time wisely.

Ephesians 5:15-16
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

So... now that my spring semester is completed and I see where my mistake was, I am preparing for another fall semester. This time, putting my priorities in order and being a better steward of my time. And also acknowledging that the dust-bunnies will still be there tomorrow when I can take care of them.

I pray that summer is going well.

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